i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
