You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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