They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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