too bad you live with your parents still
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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