I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
