i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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