Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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