I like to think it a success when the cops are called
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
