Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
