Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
