I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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