He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
