I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
