giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
