is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
