i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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