so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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