porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
