its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Even my vagina gasped.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
