worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
