I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
