she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
