He disabled his match.com account in front of me
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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