i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
