he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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