youre lurking in front of me
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I can't put those talents on a resume
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
