So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
