I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
