I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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