let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Randomize
