it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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