Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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