Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
