I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
even my farts smell like vagina
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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