i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Is it because I queefed?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
These tits shall not be calmed
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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