so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
