and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
