so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
