Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
