Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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