Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
