she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
