dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
