what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Girls should come with a carfax report
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
