He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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