Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
