12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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