Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
