went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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