you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Randomize
