About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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