i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Randomize
