Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
