Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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